[Mood] Restart, or not?

Could I restart the period over the very long duration of my life?
I'm very very very very sad when I know the score of English certificate.
And, somethings disturb me again and again.

What's wrong with me?
I just want to find the identification in the duration.
Why I can't find the small encouragement during these days?

I find everything I ever did is just do nothing. I hate someone nailed their strange eyes on me after knowing I study this degree. It seems to tell that you are just a student and do't earn money to raise your family. Is this my fault? I seldom get no money from my family as I study this degree. All the everything I want to do best...Why blame me for these ridiculous reasons? Further, I crazily gaze at the unfair Taiwanese media posts and provide some suitable opponent opinions. Why despise me seriously for anti-socialization, anti-government?

The major meaning is that discover the interesting things of studying. But, during these long and rough days, the major encouragement is coming from my family and my girl. Meanwhile, I want to get good results in the period. However, I owe much more expectations to them ( family, teachers, friends and my deeply loved girl....)

Is it my fault to study this degree or make these decisions?

Indeed, if there's God, I want to see him and ask him the reason.